||[Jan. 2nd, 2004|12:47 pm]
Harry James Potter
...I should have told him sooner. Now, three people are dead. Although, based on past experiences I don't know if anybody besides Dumbledore would believe me. Sure, Ron and Hermione...but I'm not telling them. They'll just do what they always do -- worry and ask me if I'm alright, like I'm made out of some precious porceline. I've been through the same things they have, and they don't seem to be so...screwed up. I can't even carry on a relationship for fear that something will happen and the girl I'm with will get murdered for being with me.
Sometimes I think about what it would've been like to be Ron. If we switched places and he had the scar. If his parents were murdered, if the only adult that really cared about him was murdered...if he was waiting to be killed too. That always makes me stop. Why would I ever want to think about Ron having to go through all this?
Because I don't want to. It's sick, is what it is.
...it still hurts, though not as bad as it did on New Years. Cor, I can't even remember all that happened with Hermione. I just woke up, and felt something warm next to me and looked over, and there she was sleeping...and it was perfect. The way that her eyelashes formed half circles on her cheeks, and the line of her lips and the curve of her cheeks...and she was so smooth. And then we got up and everything was perfect. Nothing was awkward, nothing was wrong. Then...we came downstairs, and got the news.
I think this is going to be the end.
I don't think he's going to stop at Hogsmeade.
...I don't know if I'm going to make it this time.
Happy New Year.